This Breakup Rap Video Is the Worst Way to End a Relationship
This is the very brief story (and in a minute you’ll be thankful for that it’s brief) about a couple named Blake and Jeremy who called themselves “Blaremy” (Ugh.) and who are opting to try and remain friends even though they’ve decided to stop dating after a seven-year run. Consider us heartbroken.
To usher in their new lives as platonic companions, they posted a breakup rap video on Facebook, which looks like it was a lot of work. But, in keeping with the millennial custom of putting everything you ever do online, the duo used Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend” to make a song about their love and the end of their love, because nothing says “cutting edge” like lampooning a song that’s almost 30 years old.
Blaremy goes on to tell their story about how they met at an Arizona State business fraternity, but that over time they just couldn’t co-exist with their divergent lifestyles. If that already is more information than you needed about total strangers, don’t worry, the vid also has tons of pictures of their relationship. Seems kind of weird looking at intimate moments of people you just learned about three minutes ago, actually.
On top of that, the lyrics are akin to something you might have heard from an improv group at an elementary school assembly or something, with lines like, “You wanna travel the world and have brunch in Brussels/I wanna settle down and put together some puzzles,” and “I’ve learned a lot from you, I’ve become wiser/I’d give you 5 stars if you were my Uber driver.”
Hopefully it goes without saying, but this is not an advisable course to take when ending a relationship. Instead just take the normal route when sorting through a breakup. Texting your ex to tell them how much you still love them and how you made a mistake might be a little less embarrassing than this.